2011年6月1日 星期三

Discussing cause-(2)

    There are several reasons why the music store closed. First of all, the location of the store is far from the shopping center. And on the way to Michael's music store, there are two music stores which are bigger and better than Michael's. Second, the varieties of CDs are only two categories that are hip-hop and rock. He didn't think about the people who love other categories. Then, his store just opened Monday to Friday from 1 to 5 p.m., but the number of people who walked past store were the most on weekends. Therefore, few people came to his store to buy CDs. Finally, Mr.Williams wouldn't accept checks or credit cards what may make the customers feel inconvenient. So, I think we should think much before we open a store.

7 則留言:

  1. 背景交代清楚一點比較好哦
    然後時態要用過去式哦

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  2. 一開始在交代清楚一點會比較好

    大致上沒什麼問題

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  3. 1.And on the way to Michael's music store, there are two music stores which are bigger and better than Michael's.
    ﹡music store在一句內重複2次,建議代換。
    2.Finally, Mr.Williams wouldn't accept checks or credit cards what may make the customers feel inconvenient.
    ﹡what→which(如果是我還會在which前面+,)

    ﹡以上,淺見…

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  4. Then,...but the number of people who walked past store were the most on weekends.
    "the number of + N"應接"was"。

    如有誤,請不吝嗇指教。

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  5. 建議時態要一致

    but the number of people who walked past store "was" the most on weekends.

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