2011年3月2日 星期三

My experience as a volunteer

  I once lived in Taipei, and worked as a volunteer in a hospital. It really felt good to get the opportunities to help people. One morning an elderly woman who badly hurt in a accident was sent to the hospital. Her family was anxiously, and asked the doctors and nurses for help. I rushed to them, and did them a favor before the doctors and nurses came. After four-hour operation, the elderly woman was out of danger. But she lost one of  her legs and she had to stay in the hospital for at least one month. During these days she stayed in the hospital, I went to visit her and took care of her every day. At first, she always in a depressing mood and she didn't want to talk to others, but I never gave up chatting with her and told her that she will get will soon. Afterward, she finally opened her mind and talked to me. I was glad that she was reborn, and we also became good friends. One month has passed, she was released from the hospital. We still kept in touch and we often helped somebody else those who were in need. We thanked for meeting each other and do something meamingful. We won't let the chain of love disappear.

8 則留言:

  1. 第三行的anxiously應該是要形容詞
    第八行的she always in a ~ mood裡面沒有動詞
    第十行的she will get "will" soon是well吧

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  2. 第一行應該要改成
    It felt really good
    第二行one morning後可加一逗號
    後應為was badly hurt
    第三行應為anxious
    第五行after "an" four-hour......
    第六行during不為連接詞所以下一行的逗號後應加and
    倒數第六行應改為she "would" get "well" soon
    後面可改成Finally,she opened her ....
    倒數第四行可改為after one month passed
    倒數第三行改為we often helped those who were ...
    倒數第二句we thanked for knowing each other and doing something meaningful together
    加油
    p.s.不用客氣呀!!=目

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  3. 同宜珍。
    寫作時留意一下時態和介+V-ing就好了。

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  4. an elderly woman who was badly hurt in a accident 這句accident前面應該要用an哦
    After an four-hour operation前面應該是a哦
    At first, she always in a depressing mood這裡沒動詞耶

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  5. One morning an elderly woman ~ hospital.
    a accident要改成an accident

    Her family was anxiously ~ help.
    這句的anxiously應該要改成形容詞anxious

    以我的程度只能抓一點錯字哈哈

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  6. Her family was anxiously
    裡的anxiously是anxious(adj.)
    以下是我的個人小建議:
    Her family was anxiously, and asked the doctors and nurses for help.
    這裡有兩個and很饒舌
    我會改成→Her family anxiously asked the doctors and nurses for help .

    以上~
    我盡力了!
    =目

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  7. 感覺好熟悉阿最後一句^^
    可以想些轉折詞讓文句更通順。
    我只能給這些建議拉。

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  8. 1.Her family was anxiously, and asked the doctors and nurses for help.
    →Her family was anxious, and asked the doctors and nurses for help.
    2.After four-hour operation, the elderly woman was out of danger.
    →After a four-hour operation, the elderly woman was out of danger.
    3.But she lost one of her legs and she had to stay in the hospital for at least one month.
    →But she lost one of her legs and had to stay in the hospital for at least one month.
    4.During these days she stayed in the hospital, I went to visit her and took care of her every day.
    →During these days, she had stayed in the hospital; I went to visit her and take care of her every day.
    5.At first, she always in a depressing mood and she didn't want to talk to others, but I never gave up chatting with her and told her that she will get will soon.
    →At first, she was not in the mood to talk to others, but I never gave up chatting with her and told her that she would get better soon.
    6.One month has passed, she was released from the hospital.
    →One month had passed, she was released from the hospital.
    7.We still kept in touch and we often helped somebody else those who were in need.
    →We still kept in touch with each other and often helped whoever in need.
    8.We thanked for meeting each other and do something meamingful.
    →We thanked for meeting each other and doing something meaningful.
    9.We thanked for meeting each other and do something meamingful.
    →句首加個副詞會比較通順哦。
    (以上,淺見…)

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